Bar Scene Not Place to Find Dates – Online Dating Works Better

Dating and bars. Bars and dating. Question: Do these two words really go together? The answer: No. In my experience, you won’t find a longtime love match at a bar.

Why do I say dating and bars do not go together? I say this because I have known friends who find cheap thrills in bars but I have not known any of my friends to meet their love matches at bars. Likewise, I did not meet my wife of 10 years at a bar.

My wife and I spent this past Saturday going out to eat at a wonderful Cajun restaurant and then to a dueling piano bar in Westport, Mo., to enjoy ourselves. I was able to kick back and relax. We listened to the talented piano players tickle the ivory keys and sing 1980s pop songs. Furthermore, I had the opportunity to observe many people singing along to the songs, slamming shots, and, yes, flirting.

That seems to be all the goes on a bars–flirting. Most bars have loud music playing, so there is no chance to really talk, open up, and communicate with a potential love match. A bar is a place to listen to music, cut loose, and unwind–not a place to make a love connection and find a date.

Friends have told me they agree with my assessment. One person said, “I just don’t think women date guys they meet in bars.”

I’ve seen other people post similar statements on online forums and blogs. Some statements I’ve read online are:

“I made the old mistake of pubs, clubs and bars, but you cannot meet potential longterm partners in those kinds of places.”

Another Internet poster wrote, “…meeting American singles online for dating and love, relationship and marriage is better than at the bar.”

So, I began wondering where to go if it is better to meet people online than at bars. I know one friend who has tried many Christian dating sites. Other people I know have tried sites like Chemistry, Match, Zoosk, and PlentyofFish. I have used PlentyofFish to advertise my own business (they have an advertising side), so I am a little familiar with it and am impressed by it. I also ran across a new dating site called SinglesNet that I shared with my single friends. I have been impressed by SinglesNet.

But you say, “Scott, I hate online dating sites like SinglesNet.” Okay. I hear you. I would encourage you to try online dating sites at least three times. But, there are other options you can use to find a date. If you insist on using older ways of finding dates and not online dating sites, here are some places you can look besides bars and your workplace:

Coffee shops
Art shows
Conventions. There are conventions for every subject and every fan group from comic book collectors to psychics.
Local fairs. Check out local fairs in your area. Here in the Midwest, there are many fairs in the fall.
The grocery store
Music festivals. Music festival season (summertime) is a time to enjoy the company of many like-minded people in an atmosphere free from every day stress.

You see, there are many places to find love outside of bars. If you are looking for love, skip the drinking scene. Bars and pubs are good for cheap thrills but not serious dating. If you want to date, try free online dating sites where you can search for your compatible matches. You may even find the alternative ideas I mentioned work best for you. No matter how you find a date, I wish you the best of luck.

Some interesting facts about dating sites.

As of June 15, 2010, soldiers in China are not allowed to use online dating sites, per
Some of the most popular free dating sites are SinglesNet, PerfectMatch, Chemistry, Zoosk, and PlentyofFish.
In 2004, U.S. residents spent $469.5 million on online dating and personals, and over $500 million in 2005, according to Wikipedia. The U.S. online dating market is expected to increase spending to $932 million in 2011.
One of the hottest trends in online dating is helping direct the babyboomers to dating sites. Around 30% of America’s 80 million babyboomers are single, per Wikipedia.
According to, in 2010 it is estimated that Craigslist earned $122 million with $88 to $99 million being profit. The Adult Services listings made up 30 percent of the revenue.